SFM April 2016_high-reg - page 7

SCRAPP! FIGHT MAGAZINE
April - 2016
7
Is it Time for UFC to Demand
Driver For Jon Jones?
Article By: Jay Anderson
Let me tell you a little story I
heard about a popular mayor
when I was growing up. How
much truth there is to it, I can’t
say for certain, but this par-
ticular story came from said
mayor’s inner circle, so I always
took it as a case of “where
there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
See, this particular mayor was
getting on in years; was, in
fact, one of the longest serv-
ing mayors in the nation. And
a darn good one, who always
won by crushing landslide. Said
mayor also had something of a
bad habit: taking a wee nip of
whiskey now and then. Which
would be fine, were it not for
the fact that said mayor, eighty
plus years young, would still
get behind the wheel.
Now, if you’re a UFC fan or
frankly a living breathing hu-
man at this point, I don’t need
to warn you about the dangers
of driving under the influence,
right? Right?
Back to the story. One night,
the honorable mayor got be-
hind the wheel, and perhaps
a few shots of whiskey com-
bined with the slowed reaction
time and dimming eyesight the
ravages of time bring to us all
combined in the worst of ways.
The car left the road, and be-
fore it came to a stop, a poor,
innocent traffic sign (a stop
sign no less) had fallen victim,
crushed by the weight of the
mayor’s vehicle.
Really, it’s no laughing mat-
ter, but since no one was hurt,
you can feel free to have a
little chuckle. That’s no excuse
for poor judgment, but here’s
where the story gets better:
the mayor, realizing the mis-
take made, henceforth hired a
driver. No more flattened stop
signs, no more danger to the
general public.
As someone who has survived
a major accident at high speeds
(with a big rig, and I’m not talk-
ing about Hendricks), I can tell
you first hand how much be-
ing in a crash sucks. The car —
worth as much in sentimental
value as in book value — writ-
ten off, the panicked loved
ones, the trip to the hospital (in
my case, I got out of it without
a scratch, the benefits of driv-
ing an old steel beast, but I was
still sent in as a precautionary
measure). I was lucky, and also
not at fault, which saved me
the curse of a blemished insur-
ance history. Or worse.
Jon Jones has had not one, not
two, but multiple driving infrac-
tions over the years. Not simple
Photo Courtesy of Albuquerque Police Department
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